April 2020/21
April 2020/21
Music to Awaken Your Zombie-fied Soul
Kids who previously dragged their way through each school day now feel overjoyed, one going as far as to say that she’s scheduled for mouth surgery to remove the permanent smile slapped on her face through the healing properties of Top 40 on the intercom!
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April 2020/21
Creative
Sports Are on a Roll, and Athletes Are Having a Ball!
Track will be run full hamster style with the exception of the throwing events. For jumpers and hurdlers, there will be zorbs with extra elasticity to optimize bounciness and allow for peak performance.
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April 2020/21
Creative
The New New Way to Enjoy The Cinema
If the offender does not move away from the “CinemaSuit” within the next ten seconds, an air bubble with a radius of six feet will be shot out (in order to protect the “CinemaSuit” inhabitant) and three gallons worth of disinfectant will be sprayed into the surrounding area.
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April 2020/21
Creative
Zoom A Capella: A Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem
To quote one musical genius, “To sing on Zoom is to hear a symphony of voices from people who don’t know what in the world they are supposed to be doing.” ~ Beethoven, probably.
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April 2020/21
Creative
Rebranding Marblehead
Although both the School Committee and the community are overjoyed with finding the perfect name for our perfect next generation, they couldn’t help but wish they could use some of the other great suggestions thought up in preparation for the vote.
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April 2020/21
Creative
Attention MHS Students: New Schedule Coming Fall 2021
Although students will need time to adjust to the unorthodox structure of this course, they will learn invaluable emergency preparedness skills that will prove useful in our age of clone armies and drone warfare.
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April 2020/21
Creative
Chimps Make Next Step Towards Planet of the Apes
Some of the leading primatologists such as former supervillain Elizabeth Smith believe that this increase in spare time could lead to further technological and/or social advancements in chimpanzees, similar to how it did for humans.
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