Coming Soon to an Advisory Near You…

Do you recall putting away a school Chromebook sometime in the past few years? Chances are that you do and that you’ve done it wrong. Our administration has dutifully slaved away day after day rearranging the wires and readjusting the Chromebooks so that the following day, your Chromebooks will be charged and ready to go (sort of). But, as the saying goes, “unhappy people rebel,” and our administration is no exception. Next Thursday, all students will be subjected to a mandatory hour-long advisory meeting in which we will be educated on proper Chromebook etiquette. Demonstrations will be provided, since it has been proven time and time again that students are incapable of following directions.

“You know, I’m surprised the Chromebooks are such a challenge for them provided how much they use their phones,” said Jonathan Stevenson, head of CEFS. This is certainly true – plugging in a Chromebook is almost the same as plugging in your iPhone, except one is a smidge bigger and lacks Instagram.

“I can’t believe these kids got to high school with their inferior knowledge of numbers,” complained Marc Samuels, referring to the Chromebooks’ number systems that are often disregarded. It seems incredibly difficult for students to line up a labeled Chromebook with the corresponding slot. These are just two of a plethora of issues that will be discussed next advisory, ranging from excessive use of Coolmathgames.com (which we all know has little to do with math and a lot to do with procrastination) to blowing the dust out of ports.

Many students think that they’re above this devastating issue. “I literally don’t care about this #micdrop,” said one MHS student. But what students don’t realize is ignoring the problem can lead to dire consequences like loss of life.

If you own your own Chromebook/iMac/other expensive electronic, you still have to go to the seminar – but don’t despair! There’s a pretty good chance that you’ll either forget your laptop, forget to charge it, or accidentally download a virus! (Just kidding.) Whatever happens, there will probably be a day that you’ll have to use a school-provided Chromebook. And when that day comes about, you’ll be so happy that you know Proper Chromebook Etiquette™.

Sophia Piper

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