It’s the night that every teenage girl dreams of and every teenage boy dreads. Since the beginning of the school year, students have scoured the hallways for the perfect date, scoured the internet for the perfect dress, and scoured their hearts for the emotional fortitude to take on what Zac Efron once famously referred to as “the night of nights.” It’s Prom 2020, and if COVID-19 has any say in the event, juniors and seniors at Marblehead High School may miss their big moment to wear overpriced clothing and enjoy horrible remixes under a ginormous disco ball. Prom Committee members have only one chance to save prom—if every upperclassman buys a prom ticket, the demand for the event will far outweigh the unimportant health risks, and the administration will have to approve the event. Since only a mere handful of students popped the promposal question before the quarantine kicked in, students will have to be creative in finding a way to ask each other to prom from six feet apart. If you’re looking for coronacation promposal inspiration, grab your hand sanitizer and keep reading to see your classmates’ best pandemic promposals.
Will You Zoom to Prom With Me?
During these distant times, many MHS teachers have hosted online classes through the video application Zoom, inspiring some promposers to make their move online. Just last week, as Mr. Lavender’s online gym class warmed up for a virtual dodgeball match by jumping rope, Student X, hereby known as Isolation Walk Irwin, decided to make his move. Still jumping, he panted, “Can I rope someone into going to prom with me?” and all 20 students in the Zoom meeting gasped. Now jumping Double Dutch, he continued, “Will you go to prom with me—” Suddenly, Irwin’s call disconnected. One student tripped over their jump rope in shock, others screaming in anguish all across town. Everyone waited in suspense for Irwin to come back on the call, Mr. Lavender even halting the class agenda, but Irwin never returned. Was this on purpose? Did Irwin chicken out at the last minute? Will we ever find out who Irwin wanted to go to prom with? The world may never know.
Six Feet Flash Mob on Front Street
Luckily, not every pair is bound by the internet—just the other day, two lifelong friends in Old Town enjoyed an intimate moment only one door down from one another. The two friends were joking across their bedroom windows about who had the most impressive hand sanitizer collection, when Friend A, hereby known as Lysol Laura, pulled out a ukulele, insisting to her neighbor, Clorox Carly, that she had learned how to play the instrument during their time off from school. Laura began to sing the latest Justin Bieber hit, replacing the lyrics, “Girl, you got that yummy, yummy, yum” with “Girl, come to prommy, prommy, prom,” and Carly quickly accepted the promposal. As the two girls celebrated this special moment, their fellow neighbors leaned out of their windows and joined in on the song, accepting this special moment as an opportunity to band together #mhdstrong. Laura and Carly are now excited to go to prom together, and Laura has already submitted an early request to the DJ to play the Bieber power ballad “Yummy” as soon as the duo hits the dance floor.
TP Prom-blems
Just down the street at Crosby’s Marketplace, two MHS students were picking up the basic quarantine essentials (kombucha, fresh-caught lobster, and Ben & Jerry’s) when they finally reached the toilet paper aisle. When TP Tyler and Plunger Paula reached the shelf where the toilet paper normally lies, their hands met as they both grasped for the last available roll. Right as Tyler prepared to fight for his TP, he looked into Paula’s eyes and forgot all about his shopping list. He happily handed over the package and introduced himself to Paula, a junior he had seen in the MHS hallways but never stopped to talk to. Walking together through the aisles of Crosby’s, the pair instantly fell in love as the chart-topping celebrity rendition of “Imagine” played over the supermarket speakers. When the two shoppers entered the checkout line, Paula held out a roll of toilet paper which she had scribbled the word “PROM?” upon. “Will you go to junior prom with me?” she asked, and the MHS senior quickly said yes before falling into a suspicious coughing fit.
Coronavirus has infected the entire world with a disease of uncertainty for what the future holds. As high-schoolers growing up in this strangely-apocalyptic time, this uncertainty will become our routine, this fear will become our best friend. We will accept the school closings, we will handle the delayed games, but the one change that we will not tolerate is the cancellation of the night of both our dreams and our nightmares: Prom 2020. Prom will inarguably be the most important night of our teenage lives; without Prom, who even are we? Our coming of age narratives rely on this school dance, so make the poster, text the person, find a way to get yourself a date, and get to prom. Whether it’s on a Zoom chat, across the street, or even in the toilet paper aisle, there is no excuse not to make this virus a romantic opportunity for a night of fun. Come on MHS, let’s get together and cure COVID-19 with the most epic promposal—let’s save prom.