This past Sunday, the Patriots (unsurprisingly, if we’re being honest) won yet another Super Bowl. I probably don’t need to tell you that it was Tom Brady’s sixth ring. And that he is the best quarterback of all time, et cetera, et cetera. Although it was a relatively uneventful and almost boring game – the lowest scoring Super Bowl ever at a combined 16 points – us Bostonians went to bed happy, for the most part. A question still lingering in most heads is What the heck was that halftime show?
Due to Colin Kaepernick’s movement in retaliation of police brutality and the NFL’s response to his protest, many artists declined the opportunity to perform at halftime. The final lineup was Maroon 5, Travis Scott, and Big Boi from Outkast. Even hearing those names in the same sentence sounds awkward, and man, was that show the definition of awkward. When it was Maroon 5’s turn in the spotlight, they sang a few of their hit songs – “Girls Like You,” “This Love,” “She Will Be Loved,” and “Sugar.” It wasn’t terrible, but it certainly wasn’t Beyonce or Bruno Mars, who we saw at Super Bowl L. However, Adam decided to spice things up a bit when he took off his shirt, revealing an abundance of tattoos and some low-waisted pants. This was unexpected and to be honest, kind of gross, considering he threw his sweaty shirt straight into the audience.
After a disappointingly short appearance of SpongeBob, Travis Scott sang his hit song “SICKO MODE”: a) without autotune, which to be completely honest the song requires, and b) without doing much of a performance. While Travis was performing (or standing around while some flames moved around the stage), Adam Levine stood next to him awkwardly holding an electric guitar and looking as if he didn’t have the slightest idea of what was happening, which just made the whole thing worse.
At the end of Travis’ performance, Big Boi (one-half of the group Outkast) showed up in a simply enormous fur coat and fancy Cadillac convertible, which was probably the most exciting moment of the entire performance. However, his part lasted about thirty seconds, where he performed a few bars of “The Way You Move.” Needless to say, it was unfortunate that his act lasted a fraction of the other two performers.
After the entire performance ended (to the happiness of most viewers) Twittizens immediately took to their smartphones to mock the three artists. Some were mad that Travis Scott didn’t use autotune. Some were angered by Big Boi’s gargantuan fur jacket. A whole lot of people complained about Adam Levine and his decision to get half-naked. Luckily for us Patriots fans, the terrible halftime performance was overshadowed by the Patriots’ victory. The vast majority of the nation had to go to sleep with visions of Adam Levine’s CALIFORNIA tattoo across his stomach. Hopefully, the next ring comes with a better halftime show, but who knows?